The big bad A

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The Big Bad A

The big bad A. What is it?? BAD Attitude! When you deal with chronic illness and disease on a daily basis, this can be a Killer. It destroys our peace. It disrupts our functionality in our home and in our relationships. There is nothing worse than someone who feels sorry for themselves. Believe me when I say I know what I am talking bout here. I hate people who live in the poor is me! Well I woke up one day and thats where I was! I couldn't stand myself I knew no one around me could either! People weren't calling, I wasn't getting any visitors, and I couldn't figure out why. I got into grumbling about it. And then I started talking about how horrible they were for not reaching out to me in this miserable life I was forced to live. Then I talked about how two faced they were. Then I challenged their faith! For surely they weren't acting like Christians! I woke up and found myself with no friends.

Then if that wasn't enough, I got bitter at God. For if He loved me and his word was true then all this should NOT be happening to me! How could he abandon me when I needed him most!

Nothing was right everything was wrong, and I didn't want to live anymore! I didn't want to die, I wasn't suicidal but I sure was not living either.

Depression is an enemy to those who live with Chronic Illness. The thing is it is a catch 22. Many of us are on a lot of medication, and medication itself can cause deep, deep, depression, so we MUST work hard to not allow depression to rule our hearts when we find ourselves in that battle.,

Reach out! Find someone to talk to, Don't sit around and wait for them to come to you. Ever hear the saying to have a friend you have to be a friend? I found out it was easeir to be alone. And in the state I was in it fueled this BAD attitude I found myself living in.

Well of course I was alone! I was busy being bitter! And just down right mad! I remember, during this time I had watched the movie Ghost. Remember it?? For some reason when we are in this frame of mind, we want to just feed it, so sappy sad movies was the thing! Well Patrick Swayzy made a statement when he found his friend had him killed. He got really angry and said "I had a life!" Well that was it! I found my motto for my bitterness! And I would tell everyone, you don't understand I had a life! "I HAD A LIFE!!!"

To make a very long story short, God in his grace and mercy, has kept me in my same church, and the word is taught and preached, and God got in my face and said NO! You DO have a life! Now what are you going to do with it?

As long as I let bitterness, envy, pride, and anger rule, I am not living. I have no friends, and I am no use to those around me. We think we have no purpose. My friend let me remind you, from a lesson learned in pain, God can take a bad situation and turn it for good. And He will turn yours to good too. But the key word here is attitude.

What is your attitude towards life? Not towards your illness but towards life? Do you want peace? Do you want happiness? Do you want good relationships?

If you do then what are you doing about it? If you don't want these things then maybe you need to ask yourself why not? I had to ask myself that very thing. and it was a hard question.

The fruit of the sprit is love, joy, peace, gentleness long-suffering, kindness, meekness, etc.. but it is the result of living in the spirit. So therefore its our choice. Are you walking in the spirit? Are you walking with the Lord? Remember, It is our choice.

I was.. and I still am, as long as I guard against the BIG BAD A!